Thursday, February 2, 2017

Week 3 Storytelling: Kelly and Classmates

Scotland High School by Craig Wallace

Once upon a time, there was an all-girls school deep within Scotland. The ages varied from big and small, and a few hundred came here to get their education. They were all highly intelligent and frankly they all knew it too.

Except one special little girl named Kelly. She was the shy and timid type that never spoke up in class unless she absolutely had to. Kelly did not have many friends for the reason that she never got the courage to speak up and talk to people, and many students thought she was that one odd child in the class. Little did they know, she was the wisest of them all and was actually quite humble about it. The other students on the other hand… possessed immense egos.

The anatomy professor, Stephanie, obviously favored Kelly, and her classmates did not understand why. She was always called on and got every single answers correct. Professor Stephanie even promised to provide a scholarship when she graduated. Her classmates were enraged and secretly envied her. Professor Stephanie barely liked fellow teachers much less her students. After school, Kelly would stay and talk with her privately for what seemed like eternity.

Kelly told Professor Stephanie about how she felt so alone in a school full of people. No one understood her and no one would notice if she disappeared one day. No one cared.

When lunch time came around Kelly would curl up in the library to read because she liked her peace and quiet. She didn’t have anyone to talk to and eat with anyways.

Some days a few girls would come in just to taunt her. They would pester Kelly about her appearance or persistently ask why she was so weird just to see if she would lose her temper, but she always remained calm. That composure aggravated them even more. She was unbreakable.

One day, the same group of girls devised a plan to embarrass her.

Every day the school assigns someone new to monitor the cafeteria. This is one of the rare times Kelly would come out of the library.

The girls got information of what date she would be on duty next and hoped to mortify her. The straightforward plan was put into action.

The moment Kelly walked into the room she knew something was off. She felt stares all throughout; Kelly kept her head down until she heard someone call out her name… When all of a sudden someone stuck out their feet and tripped her mid step. She plunged forward into a tray full of mash potato and gravy.

Kelly pulled herself up, wiped her eyes, and bee lined towards the restroom. She lost the composure she has been holding down and cried and cried until her eyes were dry.

When she came out of the stall there was a girl standing there holding up a tissue. It was the new transfer student. This kind stranger patiently waited for Kelly to collect herself. She did not say much, but her presence was comforting enough. As they walked out of the restroom together, Kelly introduced herself; this was the start of a sincere friendship.

Girl, Sunset, Balloons, Friendship, Sun, Sky Clouds
Friendship by AdinaVoicu

Author’s Note: I liked how the story of Saint Kentigern and the Robin addressed the issue of bullying. I put my own twist on the story by changing the scenario. The main character, Kentigern, is now a girl named Kelly, Saint Servan is Stephanie, and I added a new unnamed stranger. Saint Kentigern never really made a friend besides Saint Servan and even with that it was a mentor and mentee relationship. I wanted the person being bullied to find a friend.

Bibliography: Saint Kentigern and the Robin by Abbie Farwell Brown

6 comments:

  1. I really liked this story! You conveyed Kelly's shyness well without her coming across as aloof or rude. This story is also believable because adolescent girls can be ruthless when in reality they were just threatened and jealous of her the whole time. I was glad she had someone to confide in with Professor Stephanie, but I thought it was great how you gave her a friend her own age.

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  2. Sheena, of all the stories I've read these past couple of weeks, I believe yours has been the most heart-warming. Although the other stories that I've read involved some fantastical element, your story was grounded in the real and made me feel great empathy for Kelly and her situation. With that being said, there was a lot of WOW moments in your story. For one, it is extremely rare to find people who are humble, especially when they do possess a talent that everyone covets. I think you portrayed Kelly's humbleness very well. Your character development skills for the main character are on point. However, I did find myself wondering more about professor Stephanie. For instance, what steps would Stephanie have taken in order to alleviate some of the loneliness and insecurities that Kelly was facing? I would have liked to know more about Stephanie's interaction with Kelly and maybe have some dialogue between the two? Just some suggestion that I hope you find helpful for your future story writing! Wonderful story Sheena!

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  3. Nice contemporary, grounded take on the original story. Kelly's got good characterization for such a short story, and it's easy to have empathy for her. It's a bit depressing though since the story feels like it could really happen, haha. It's nice that this story's ending deviated from the original in that Kelly made a friend at the end instead of just regaining a reputation with the professor.

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  4. Sheena,

    I really liked your story and thought it was sweet and relatable. I also really liked the way you set the scene and made it feel like a very real and plausible scenario and the photo used really helped to place it. I think that the use of the story of St. Kentigern was a very unique inspiration and I like to see the train of thought. I do think that there could be a little more of the inspiration from the original story in the new one, just to help and place things. Maybe you could use the original names instead of the newer ones. I also personally think that stories with dialogue are easier to visualize and create character, so maybe you could incorporate some dialogue as well. Overall, I really like the story and the morality of the message, so thanks so much for sharing!

    Mackenzie

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  5. This was such a cute story to read. You showed how a girl got bullied but she was still always calm until one day. This seems like something that would happen in high and it did with her. At least out it she got a friend and someone that would now stick with her. She was always smart but she never showed off in front of anyone.

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  6. Aw this was so cute Sheena! I love this story. It was so relatable because I’m sure all of us can remember when we first met our first friend. It made me super sad at the beginning, but I love how there was a happy ending. You did a great job in writing this. I like that what seemed to be tragic was made into a beautiful friendship.

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